ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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