Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
