you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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