we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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