We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
