Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
