yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
