alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
