you guys were way drunker than both of me
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
