There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
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I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
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He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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