I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
