Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
well you can't waste a boner
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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