Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
