Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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