saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize