Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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