I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
