Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
