Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
