How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
