If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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