My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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