A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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