sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
