I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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