OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
