i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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