I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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