Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
