there was a trapeze. enough said
I am midnight drunk by noon
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
