Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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