Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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