At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just had sex on a roof
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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