I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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