if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
