i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
