You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
