The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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