I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
