that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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