But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
