i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I party with great urgency now.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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