So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
