All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i used baking grease as lip gloss
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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