i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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