i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I showed him my bush... on skype.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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