Too much gin, very little bucket
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
