im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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