Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
