i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
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like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
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"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.