Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
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im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
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Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who