sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay