Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm

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  (650): Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm http://tfl.nu/tho2
  Replies (19) Good night (1553) Bad night (791)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  wrong asian. never thought that would happen.

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  (401): wrong asian. never thought that would happen. http://tfl.nu/96tp
  Replies (16) Good night (1322) Bad night (4017)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.

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  (856): Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend. http://tfl.nu/zfxw
  Replies (10) Good night (3566) Bad night (703)
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.

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  (510): I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend. http://tfl.nu/lprg
  Replies (10) Good night (5760) Bad night (707)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.

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  (+44): The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps. http://tfl.nu/azhr
  Replies (14) Good night (6832) Bad night (1472)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.

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  (206): He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants. http://tfl.nu/v3dq
  Replies (51) Good night (8733) Bad night (1277)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet

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  (207): I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet http://tfl.nu/5wz6
  Replies (12) Good night (9208) Bad night (1229)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey

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  (401): 1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey http://tfl.nu/ks1h
  Replies (3) Good night (3963) Bad night (787)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers

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  (225): She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers http://tfl.nu/m8b0
  Replies (9) Good night (899) Bad night (1910)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.

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  (631): I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice. http://tfl.nu/lrh1
  Replies (6) Good night (1104) Bad night (615)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.

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  (281): A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before. http://tfl.nu/gsfk
  Replies (3) Good night (967) Bad night (441)
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  (510): View more from California

  Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?

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  (510): Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you? http://tfl.nu/34q2
  Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (766)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.

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  (406): My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college. http://tfl.nu/7goj
  Replies (3) Good night (466) Bad night (357)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried

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  (905): He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried http://tfl.nu/pylc
  Replies (5) Good night (399) Bad night (593)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.

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  (775): I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend. http://tfl.nu/fd7v
  Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (346)

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