At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
