I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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