I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
