I'm gonna have a badass scar
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My vagina is officially offended.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
