Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
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