my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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