no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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