Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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