She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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