two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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