Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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