I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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