I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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