I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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