We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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