When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
