i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I can't turn off my feet"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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