I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
